Journey Week 5

Thinking about parts of my life that could qualify as a "journey" brings up a lot of different ideas.  My schooling, research that I have done, moving to and from DC, family journeys, etc.  However, I decided to choose one that I feel I have grown tremendously from in the past 9 months, and that is the journey of living on my own for the first time.  Although this may not seem like a huge deal, it has been a HUGE thing for me to overcome and get used too.  Both my mother, my boyfriend, and three of my best friends moved at the beginning of this school year.  I was left alone, in my house with my four dogs for company.  Now, apart from the simple difficulty of having my mother 3000 miles away from me in DC and my boyfriend 400 miles away in San Diego, living alone is an experience all in itself.  So I feel that this relates well to a journey in which I have had to overcome many obstacles, or "ogres" if you prefer.  Initially, the devastation of having the two people who I loved most move away from me was huge.  You get used to always having somewhere there or at least a phone call and five minute drive away.  All of a sudden, my mother was no where near me and the three hour time difference made sad late night phone calls an impossibility.  Then on top of this, as anyone who has been in a long-distance relationship knows, having your boyfriend/girlfriend move far away to college with his two best friends as their room mates is hardly the most comforting situation in the world.  I had to overcome feelings of worry and possible jealousy, knowing that he was going out to bars without me and meeting new people at school.  But most of all, I had to overcome the huge obstacle of feeling completely alone.  Coming home to an empty house, going to sleep in an empty house, waking up in one...It's hard, especially if you've never done it before.  But I overcame obstacles like this by throwing myself into school, into working out, into playing with my dogs and enjoying the time with them.  I started hiking everyday with my puppy Benjamin and making weekend beach trips to go run with him a requirement.  I found that staying active, especially with the company of my dog, made me happier.  Those endorphins do work!!  I also found a new friend, my boyfriend's friend's wife, Valerie.  She is now probably my best friend, second only to my boyfriend.  She and I forged a fast friendship during these past 9 months as she helped me through everything.  We became workout buddies, shopping buddies, beach buddies, completely inseparable.  She, along with my puppy, helped pull me through the darkest times, and as a result, I came out with a new found confidence in myself.  The confidence in my ability to be alone, to live by myself.  Along with an actual appreciation of having time to myself, time to throw a leash on my dog and hike for two hours and not worry about anything else.  As a reward, I have an amazing relationship with my boyfriend, our relationship has only strengthened.  I have complete trust in him, as he does in me, and we're even closer as friends as we've helped each other deal with the drastic changes in our lives.  My mother and I improved our relationship too.  I've definitely discovered that having one of us "leave the nest" creates a far more balanced relationship as mother and daughter (ie: a lot less arguing).  So all in all, these obstacles or ogres have simply become learning experiences.  Things that have only made me stronger for all the pain and trouble that they caused.  Although it may not have been an easy journey, it was an important one, and one that isn't over yet.