Week 6 - Task 4

So I think that perfectionism would have to be my other big "learning weakness" other than procrastination.  Now I know that to most people (ie: non-perfectionists) this may seem like a ridiculous problem.  After all, who is going to complain about the need to get things done "perfectly?"  But oh, how little do they know.  Perfectionism can actual cause such a huge amount of anxiety and stress over doing something "perfectly" that it becomes almost impossible to do it at all.  I can stress myself out to the point of completely frying my brain trying to make something exactly "perfect" according to someone else's (normally a teacher's) expectations.  I particularly manage to do this to myself when confronted with an essay that has lots of "guidelines" and specific requirements.  For example: If you asked me to write a 15 page paper on procrastination I could do it.  No problem, no stress, great paper, congratulations Amanda.  However, if you ask me to write said 15 page paper with exactly 10 sources, each dedicated to one specific topic sentence and focusing on a comparing and contrasting the different elements that go into "procrastination," my stress level doubles.  Because all of a sudden there are all these expectations that I feel the need to meet perfectly.  As a result, I write 6 pages and don't like any of it because I feel that my topic sentences aren't "well-definited" (even when they are) or that my sources aren't supporting enough (even when they are), and then I get so worked up about it all that I won't to throw up my hands and cry because I will NEVER live up to my own expectations, even when I far exceed those of everyone else.  So welcome to a perfectionist's world, although you may think of it as more of a blessing it can most definitely be a curse.  

As far as overcoming my "perfectionism," I think I mostly just have to learn to live with it and bend it a bit.  Learning to accept that an A rather than an A+ is necessary.  Also, I definitely have to take steps towards becoming O.K. with not having something "perfect" the first time around.  Even if that means writing my paper, having my teacher tell me what I did wrong, and then going and re-writing it for a better grade.  Now to be honest, that grates on me like NOTHING else, but sometimes it's simply needed.  Also, I've learned to embrace the parts of my life where my perfectionism is a good thing.  For example, I am the most dedicated friend, girlfriend, cook, athlete, bookworm, biologist, therapist, whatever...you could possibly desire.  Simply because I constantly strive to better myself and achieve that perfection in my eyes and in others.  So perfectionism, just like procrastination, has it's ups and downs, pros and cons.  The trick is learning to enjoy the pros and accept the cons while learning how to work better and more efficiently all around.  Because the honest truth is that I will always be a procrastinating perfectionist, which is definitely one of the worst combinations ever.  I just have to learn how to work with it.